Avoiding Instant Gratification
In one way or another, almost everything I've been ineffective doing in my life has been the result of giving in to the urge for instant gratification. The "I want it now" syndrome has caused me more grief than anything else I can think of. Extra pounds, debt, failed relationships….all revolve around our desire to give in to our identity—the selfish, childish part of our personality that thinks only of our own survival and pleasure while ignoring the things that we know will yield the long term results we say we want.
Perhaps you've noticed a similar trend in your life. Have you ever chosen to go to a party instead of completing a work assignment that was due the next day? Too much of that and before you know it you get fired from your job. Have you ever bought something on credit because you couldn't wait long enough to pay cash? Too much of that and before you know it you're in debt up to your eyeballs and the bulk of your paycheck is spent paying the interest on your loans. Have you ever eaten something you knew you shouldn't have eaten, because you couldn't bear to deny yourself the pleasure or you rationalized to yourself that it's only this one time, how much can it hurt? Too much of that and before you know it you're overweight.
I once heard "shortcut" described as the longest distance between two points. That's a great way to describe instant gratification. It's a lot harder to lose weight than it is to gain it. It's a lot harder to make up for something you've already done, than never to have done it in the first place. But despite the suffering that is bound to come from it, the urge to gratify an immediate desire is often so strong that we tend to forget the pain it will cause us in the end. We insist on eating our favorite foods today, even though we know we'll have to spend the rest of our lives on a diet. We insist on living in our dream house today, even though we know it will cost us three times what its worth in interest. We insist on goofing off today, even though we know we're sentencing ourselves to working that much harder tomorrow. There are a number of issues rolled up in this strange, self-destructive behavior: procrastination, impatience, immaturity. But all of these are merely symptoms of the urge to have instant gratification.
If from time to time you find yourself struggling with life, if you're someone who is looking for a way to improve the odds of your own success, if you realize that what you've been doing all these years isn't working and it's time to try something new, then one of the most powerful transformations you can make in your life is right under your nose: learn how to delay gratification. Think about it. How would your life improve if you no longer gave in to all those short term temptations that you know full well will seriously impact your long term success? What would it be like for you to become the kind of person who automatically chooses to do today what you know will be effective for you tomorrow?
It’s human nature to want to enjoy ourselves today, instead of waiting until tomorrow. And nobody becomes rich, famous, thin, or successful by trying to overcome human nature. The trick is to use that nature to your advantage. If it's true that you're programmed to enjoy yourself today, why not learn that one of the most enjoyable things you can do is to delay gratification?
Here's How
Acknowledge the way it really is.
First you want to honestly assess how it's really been going and what you've really been doing. Where have you been giving in to the urge of having instant gratification? Where have you been making excuses for not doing the things you've said you are committed to doing? Making a list can be helpful. This can be in any or all areas of your life (food, money, job, hobby, relationships, exercise ...). You don't want to do this to see all the "bad" things you've done in your past. You just want to distinguish an accurate picture of how it's really been going and what you've really been doing. This can be difficult to do alone and difficult the first time, so if you have a coach or an accountability partner, request their support to be used as a sounding board.
Acknowledge the "Real" Impact
Next you want to get straight and be honest about the impact this behavior has had on you, your life and those around you. Again, not out of blame, guilt, shame, resentment, regret or fault. Before you can have something new in your future, it is of great value to be clear about how it's really been going up until now. This works to keep you from staying in a rut and doing the same things over and over again.
Create the Future of Your Dreams.
Instead of being upset and focusing on what you're giving up now ("But I want that chocolate sundae"), focus on what you're getting for your future ("I’ll look better and feel better than I have in years"). You're still focused on the thrill, just as you are when you're pursuing instant gratification, but when you delay gratification you get to redefine what that thrill is. You get to choose your thrill. You allow yourself to enjoy the delay even more than you enjoy the indulgence. You allow yourself to enjoy the process of getting what you want, instead of insisting on always having what you want. Once you do that, you open yourself to a lifetime of the kind of habits that will bring you anything you want. Once you focus on enjoying the process, today, of obtaining what you want in your future, you'll find yourself on top of the world both today and tomorrow.
Preference Questions.
Preference questions help you replace the urge to do something counterproductive with the urge to do something productive. For example, think of something you have an urge to do right now, but you know it wouldn't be good for you. (Overeating a fattening meal). Call that your immediate desire. Then think of a goal or an objective you have that will be better served if you can avoid the urge to give in to this immediate desire (Losing weight). Call that goal your ultimate desire. Now all you have to do is to switch the two in your mind, so that your ultimate desire has a greater sense of immediacy than does your immediate desire. Suppose your ultimate desire is to lose 30 pounds in six months, but your immediate desire is to inhale a gooey, delicious hot fudge sundae that is melting in front of your eyes. You can worry about losing weight some other time, but that hot fudge sundae is right here, right now, and it looks awesome. You can reach out and touch it, and smell it, and, heaven help you, you can taste it. Chances are you'll be inclined to satisfy your immediate craving at the expense of your ultimate goal. But what if you thought of the sundae as something you could worry about "some other time," and you thought of your ideal weight as something you want to have and right now?
You can make this switch simply by asking yourself a preference question like this one: If I had a magic wand, would I be at my ideal weight right now---today---or would I choose to have a hot fudge sundae instead?” Notice that you aren't asking yourself if you would like to reach your ideal weight sometime in the future. You aren't asking yourself if you want to be thin next summer, or next Christmas, or next year. Instead, you're asking yourself if you want to be thin right now. Under these circumstances, if you choose the sundae, you might as well give up on the idea of losing weight. You have no intention of following through with it, so why waste the time? If today you don't prefer being thin to eating a hot fudge sundae, when will you?
But if you choose being thin instead of eating that sundae, then you've chosen an effective track. You've made an important choice. You've chosen that, at this moment, being thin is more important than eating a hot fudge sundae. You have turned your ultimate desire (being thin) into an immediate desire, and you've given yourself the leverage you need to replace the urge to do something ineffective with the urge to do something effective. In both cases, you are acting on an urge, but you've allowed yourself the luxury of choosing which kind of urge is more important to you.
Perspective
The most powerful tool I know to make the change from instant gratification to delayed gratification is simply to have a new perspective. Instead of saying "It won't hurt if I eat this hot fudge sundae today because I'll work it off tomorrow," tell yourself, "Today I'll eat healthy, because I can gorge myself tomorrow." Instead of saying "I can afford to goof off today, because I have the rest of my life to make up for it", turn the thought around and say "I'll make the most of today, because I have the rest of my life to goof off." Instead of telling yourself "I want to buy this big screen TV today because it costs only $100 a month for the next five years", say "I'll put $100 in the bank each month, earning interest, so that I can buy a big screen TV as soon as possible."
Once you create a new way to look at the world, you'll find it that much easier to delay the gratification of those desires that make it hard to live in the world, and to gratify instead those desires that will make your life everything you've ever dreamed it could be.
This information came from www.swatfitness.com and was modified for this site. A special thanks to swatfitness for this information!!